Joseph Max Kavalich

 Joseph Max Kavalich

April 21, 2014

9:56am

9 pounds 5 ounces

22 inches

You are named after your grandfathers.  Joseph Palowski was your Mima's daddy.  Max Hennigh was your Gibbie's daddy.  They were both wonderful Godly men.  I pray that is something that will be said of you one day sweet boy.

 My Dear Joseph Max,
I am so thankful you are here.  A year ago I had no idea how deeply my heart could possibly desire a fourth baby.  Your Daddy knew we should be a family of six before I did, I am so thankful he did and that God put that same desire in my heart a few months later.  You truly are a gift from God and the perfect completion to our family.  I love you more than you will ever know little man!!

Forever Loving You,
Mommy

 Joseph had a due date of April 18, 2014.  I knew from very early on in this pregnancy that I wanted to try and have a natural, unmedicated, birth.  A lot of people thought I was crazy, especially since I had already had three births with an epidural.  There were a few reasons behind my decision, but the main one was that I had read a study on a possible link between  deep baby blues/postpartum depression and epidurals.  I am thankful that full blown depression is not something I have had to deal with, but to be honest the first year after the three previous births were really rough hormonally/emotionally which took its toll on my marriage especially and I was not willing to jump back on that crazy wagon if at all possible.  The other reasons behind choosing a natural birth had a lot to do with the opportunity to be at my friend, Hannah's home birth a few years ago, which began changing my opinion on the whole process; talking with friends who had experienced both natural and medicated births and had exceptionally better recoveries when meds were not involved; the epidural had almost completely worn off at my third birth by the time I delivered and it was not nearly as horrible as I had feared.  So that's that...
It was evident at my 36 week ultrasound that Joseph was going to be a big guy.  I had a pretty hard pregnancy physically and as the weeks passed by the word induction started getting thrown around.  I was terrified of pitocin without an epidural.  I gave myself the end date of April 21st, if he wasn't here by then I would be induced.  Well, his birthday is the 21st so I guess you can figure out what happened.    I think that this was God's way of making me rely completely on Him and my support team, Allan and Hannah, to have the birth I felt convicted to have.
Allan and I got to the hospital at 5:00am, pitocin was started at 6:00am, the doctor broke my water at 7:15am and then HARD labor set in quickly.  I have never hurt so badly and I have never worked so hard both physically and mentally.  Staying on top of the pain took every ounce of inner strength and encouragement from Hannah's words to Allan's arms which held strong when I could not.

Somewhere between 9:15-9:30 everything changed and I knew that it was time to push this baby out.  I had been told that everyone expected me to go fast, but NOBODY expected me to progress this quickly.  When I told the nurse to check me she said "I just did 15 minutes ago" I told her I knew something was different...I was right. ;)  Things went into fast motion, I started pushing, the doctor arrived, they could see his head and he was BALD (side note: I don't have bald babies, I knew this kid was different).
The next part is kind of a blur.  I think his head was out when the doctor said "We have a shoulder" and the atmosphere of the room shifted to a slight panicked feel.  I was told to push with everything in me...NOTHING happened.  Everything seemed to go into slow motion.  I was staring at the doctor waiting for some hope.  The doctor then said loudly, with eyes wide "Help now!"  The next thing I knew a nurse was on top of me pushing/punching from the top of my stomach, the doctor was pulling on the baby, I was being told to PUSH HARD, two other nurses were pushing my hips down and my knees back.  I thought I was going to pass out from the intense pain and then....my son was born.  He was grey and not crying, I was completely freaking out on the inside, but felt like I had to hold it together for some reason.  The NICU nurse grabbed him and took him to the warmer and thank God it was not long before I heard his first cries.  I had done it!!  I had an epidural free birth and a "huge" healthy baby.  What a glorious relief.  Every birth, every baby is a miracle.  I am blessed!

Hannah and I were so excited that I had done it!  

Finally getting to hold my Joseph.  He was perfect and looked completely different than my other three babies.  It took me a minute to believe he was really mine ;)  

He had a rough time getting his breathing under control and had to make a short visit to the NICU.  They let me stop by and visit him on my way to the postpartum room.  I ached to hold him, but was thankful just to pat his back for awhile.  My heart swelled at the site of my beautiful boy.  

FINALLY united as a family of SIX!!  

Aubrey was thrilled to hold her baby brother.  She has taken her role as Big Sister very seriously.  I have no doubt they will be buddies one day very soon.

Claire is a dream of a Big Sister or "Second Mama" as she likes to refer to herself.  I had tears in my eyes when she finally got her brother in her arms.  It was a moment of the purest joy.

Aww Jakey!  This kid has a tender heart for his brother.  What a gift to see their love.

Our Baby!  So thankful that Allan listened to the Lord and entertained the idea of adding to our family. I cannot imagine life without either of these guys. 

We are a family that loves family.  I have been blessed to have my parents, Allan's parents, and my four siblings at the hospital the day all four of my kiddos were born.  We all celebrate and love well on these special days.  I do not take for granted the effort and celebration that all these people bring to the birthdays of my kiddos.

Poppie and Gibbie loving on their 12th grand baby 

Coby, Amy, and Sara are some of my favorite people on the planet and I LOVE that they were here to love on me and my baby boy.

Papa and Mima have come out from California to be there on the day of all their grandkids' births.  Joseph is their 9th grand baby.

**I want to be clear that I am an advocate for everyone having the right to choose how they birth their babies.  I do NOT believe that having or not having an epidural is in anyway related to the quality of person/mother you are.  I am beyond thankful for medicine and hospitals and all that jazz.  Please have your baby the way you want to and walk with your head held high.  The end result, Lord willing, is a healthy baby and that is ultimately all that matters.  Can I get an amen?!?!