I am sitting here holding my newest baby. I cannot believe she is two and a half weeks already (I will write out her birth story later). Allan is swimming with Jacob and Claire and as I listen to their laughter and true joy while getting some much needed attention from their daddy I feel my body start to panic. Tomorrow he will be at work and for the first time I will be here alone as a mother of three. I know people do this all the time and do it well. I know that we will survive and more than likely thrive. What I don't know is how and that is terrifying for me. I have become someone who needs to know the next step I will be taking, and this time the next step is a mystery.
How will I give each kid the attention they need?
How will I keep Jacob out of dangerous situations when I can't pay110% attention to his every move?
How will I keep my house looking like it hasn't just been hit by an atomic bomb?
How will I get Claire to and from school on time?
How will I get Jacob to nap when Aubrey won't let me put her down?
I know that these aren't world changing questions for most people, but they are questions that change my world. I know that in three or four weeks we will have adjusted to our new normal and this will seem somewhat silly, but today, at this moment, these are my true feelings and concerns and I will be praying that I don't find myself in a ball on the floor tomorrow when Allan says goodbye.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
6 comments:
I will be praying for you tomorrow as reality sets in. I know there will be rough moments...but I know there will be even more moments where you feel like you were made to do this- because you were! If anyone can do it- you can! You are an amazing Mom & you guys are going to be busy but fall into a routine & wonder what you used to do when you "only" had two kids ;) Love ya!!!
Oh, Emily! I remember those fears all too well! Deep breath. One day at a time. You'll get a schedule going in no time.
Hi Emily! I will be praying for you this week. I had the same feelings with just my one.
Will be praying for you guys in this new normal. But I do love all three of your kiddos!
I hope a few days in things feel better to you. Hang in there!
And you are doing this mommying thing brilliantly!!! I'm so proud of you Emily. Your husband and kids are so loved and cared by you and the house won't look like a bomb hit every day; just often. :) Believe me, I remember. ha!
Post a Comment