I was just telling Allan last night that I have never felt so torn emotionally as I do at this moment in my life. I am really done with the uncomfortable part of being pregnant and I am looking forward to seeing my baby boy, but at the same time there is a fear of the unknown (and the known), the reality of getting this baby out and then being responsible for raising TWO kiddos at the same time. I am often sad about losing my one on one time with Claire, but so looking forward to the pure joy that having a sibling for her will bring. She is going to be a great big sister and will probably adjust faster than me to this whole two kids in the house thing. I know that as soon as I see my little man for the first time I will be in love and very soon after I will not even remember what life was like before we had a daughter and a son.
The feelings that I am having are not always understood my my practical very male husband and that is ok. I have decided that is why God placed fantastic women in my life that can encourage me that everything I am feeling is totally normal and that I will survive.
I am so blessed to have had a relatively healthy pregnancy and evidently a very healthy baby growing inside me. I do not take that gift lightly, ultimately I am beyond thankful for Jacob and Claire and I am looking forward to what my future looks like as a mommy to more than one kiddo.
**there will probably be one or more posts like this to come over the next week as the reality sinks in more and more everyday. it is just the way i process.
12 comments:
good lamenting girl, I feel you completely. and I agree, Claire will adjust sooner than you can blink- it will be you saying, hmmm, now what! but you will totally figure it out, you are a great mom and have a great support system. can't wait to see pics of that sweet boy!
Your feelings are totally normal! You know that. And YEA FOR GIRLFRIENDS! That is all I have to say! And even if your feelings weren't normal - at least you'd know that you are in good abnormal company. :)
And congratulations! You are one of only a few that have made it to "43 weeks pregnant". :) I think that Jacob is already showing us how he likes to over-achieve.
I had overwhelming feelings of guilt of what I felt I was taking from Clinton BUT I kept reminding myself how much I loved having a sister and that he would love a sibling as well. However, that guilt still lasted a good 2-3 weeks after Heidi got here. In fact, I only stayed one night at the hospital because I wanted to get home to Clinton. Then I started noticing how much he wasn't really bothered by the whole transition and he was so loving with her.
While I can see now that I didn't really have much to worry about after all, I think those feelings of guilt allow us to be super sensitive to the sibling, which really does ease the transition. (I think having Pop here also helped with the transition!)
I'm sure everything will go great. I know between your sisters and mother you have more than enough positive support and help!
Can't wait to see pics of your little man!
Oh, and sometimes a gift from the baby to the older sibling helps! We didn't have to do this b/c Clinton wouldn't have understood anyway, but several friends have done this!
Wow - can't believe it's so close. I'm excited for you. You're giving Claire an amazing gift by bringing Jacob into the family and I know you'll settle quickly and easily into being a mom of two. And if you don't, we'll be here to help. :)
Your feelings are completely understandable and I so appreciate the things your sister and friends have shared with you. Take those words of wisdom and experience to heart and be blessed. I love you. Mama
Oh I felt the same way! You will be amazed at how you find the balance and manage to get the family time and the one on one time with each.
Congrats on your boy! =)
How amazing that this was your last appointment. I'm just so in awe and can't wait to meet that sweet boy!
As for your feelings, to echo everyone -- they're totally normal. I remember those hard days where I wondered what in the world I had done. But honestly, I have more days watching my two interacting with one another and they together make me so happy and proud.
Hang in there -- you have lots of understanding and supportive friends who get the place where you're at now and who will understand your days ahead. Most of all, be encouraged. Once you've acclimated to your new stage in life, you'll love it.
Wow, it seems it all snowballs at the end... the logistics, the emotions, everything. I remember having number 2 was so much more emotional to me than having my first. Just the thought of having another child to love and put into the mix seemed so exciting and overwhelming at the same time.
You are not alone! Can't believe your big day is almost here!
Oh Emily, this post is so emtional for me and I don't even have any children. I have enjoyed reading all your everyday actions for a while now. I look forward to the day that I can experience all that you have and getting to hear words of wisdom from family and friends as well. Hope you contiue to blog because many are reading and learning from you more than you know.
Thanks again and can't wait to see Claire's face when she has a REAL baby to play with!
Thinking about you frequently! Your feelings are totally normal! I'm already having them. Actually, when I found out I was pregnant although I was, of course, thrilled, I was also hit hard with sadness that Jack wouldn't be my "baby" anymore. It's just complicated and hard to explain! :-) Just remember that you are giving the GREATEST gift to Claire by giving her a sibling!
Woohoo! One week from TOMORROW! And I've said it before, but I totally understand your feelings right now. You ARE perfectly normal - or "normal", I should say...because who's REALLY NORMAL?! Anyway...you're going to be a great mom to two! I can't wait to see the little guy! I'm so excited!!! =)
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