Allan gave me the gift of becoming a certified scuba diver for my birthday four years ago. I have had a few fantastic dives in Hawaii over the last few years. My first dive was in Lanai in August of 2004. We dove The Cathedrals which are two different lava tubes that are big enough for a bus to fit in. There are holes that allow the shafts of sunlight in and it is truly breath taking. I have always wanted to dive these sites again and this year I was finally going to have a chance.
Last Thursday we headed out on the boat to the first dive site. I got all geared up and watched as my fellow dive buddies back flipped into the crystal clear water and started their decent. It was my turn to get in the water and I felt unusually nervous, I just figured it was because I had not dove in a couple of years. I headed down. Around thirty feet I started freaking out. I could not catch a breath and I started shaking uncontrolably. I tried to shake it off and take deep breaths, but nothing was helping. I looked up and knew that I could not just shoot to the top, I had to get the dive masters attention. I kicked my legs as hard as I could and when we made eye contact he knew I needed up. He grabbed my vest and slowly stated pumping air into it, we were on the surface within a minute. He asked what was going on and I told him I was losing it and I had to get back to the boat. He got the captains attention and sent me on my way. By the time I was back at the boat the panic attack had ended. I felt a little embarrased as I climbed into the boat, but Captain Yoshi put me at ease. He gave me tips for staying calm at the next dive site if I chose to try it again.
The second site was one of The Cathedrals. I REALLY wanted to try it out again. I went in first and slowly headed down about fifteen feet with Allan. I quickly realized that this was just not my day to dive and up I went. I was so sad as I watched Allan and his family swim away underneath me.
It was so weird to have a full blown panic attack. I have only had one before and that was half way up a mountain in Colorado. I am really hoping that this is not the end of diving for me. I think before I do an open ocean dive again I will either take a refresher course or do a shore dive. I also wonder if this new found fear has something to do with being a mom. There is just something that didn't feel right about being sixty feet underwater with Allan while our baby girl was on dry land. Anyway, that is my exciting story of the trip.
9 comments:
That is terrible!!!
Emily, I am so sorry that happened. Ugh! I really do hope you can do that again. I love the slide show. You are so fortunate to have gone to a beautiful place with your precious family and make great memories. Have a great fall.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
My next door neighbor is a dive instructor... that's what he does in all his spare time. He's even done some dive classes at the Health & Athletic Center in Parker Square as well as area lakes, so I know he does stuff locally. If you want to get your feet wet again let me know and I'll get yall connected.
Oh Emily! I'm so sorry you went through that. The thought of what you went through makes my feet go numb. I can totally relate to your torment and will have to confess that I have struggled with my own fear at knowing you would probably be 60 feet under the deep blue sea, but I honestly believe our fears are from the pit, don't you? Lies instigated by the enemy of our souls as he so predictably tries to steal our joy and keep us from experiencing all that God has for us to enjoy regarding His marvelous creation. A piece of me wishes you would never dive again out of a distorted maternal instinct that wants to protect you, keep you close, and isolate you from any possible danger. However... what fun would that be to hunker down in 'safety' and miss out on some amazing adventure? I totally think you should take Jenny up on getting with her neighbor or someone involved with diving safety, just for your own peace of mind. Someday Claire is sure to want to go scuba diving as well and you'll want to enjoy that experience with her.
What a scary experience! I've always been nervous about diving even though Grant loves it. I always end up sitting it out because I'm too chicken! I'm impressed that after your first panic attack you still tried it again on the next dive.
What a scary experience! I've always been terrified of diving--I've stuck to snorkeling while the rest of my family dives!
Glad to have you back from vacation; I missed your blog! :-)
Sorry that happened! Hope the Captain's advice helped!
~Elyse~
I am sorry this happened :( I could see that happening to me, if I was a diver. I bet you will be back out there next year, after a refresher course and you will have more great dives!
What a bummer. I bet it does have something to do with being a mom and just feeling a whole different kind of responsibility.
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